today isn't a great day for a blog. extremely busy.. bad news coming in from head honchos.. and all i've eaten was a square of chocolate with peanut butter filling, two m&m's and some water. 

ah life. 

i'll check in when my head is screwed on a little tighter.

until then,

cai rad.

my roommate just said something really wise. 'remember, feelings change in a second.'

she was on the phone.. not talking to me.. so this definitely throws me into the category of super creeper. i'm alright with that.. because it was a fantastic statement.. and almost pertains to part of my current issue.

if you know me [which i'm assuming/hoping you do.. because if you don't then you fall into the super creeper category too] then you probably have heard a little something about my world crashing down around me. and if you haven't heard that.. allow me to clue you in: my world is crashing down around me. yeeeeyy!

sorry folks, i'm not going to go into painful detail on this one. this is a blog made up of mostly nonsense and sarcasm [part of my downfall].. so i won't bring down the mood with a long ass description on why things aren't right with the world and i think they should be. it would be far too long and boring and my fingers would start to hurt, and i'd probably get carpal tunnel.

so let's just think about that one genius statement that was made tonight. [forgive me if there is a lack of comedy tonight.. i just need to get a little bit of this out] 'feelings can change in a second.' they totally can. 

one second. and do you realize how short a second is? let's put it into perspective. okay.. here we go. i've been sitting looking at my screen for 52 seconds trying to figure out how to explain how short a second is. and then another 37 to send a text message. and then another 5 to change the song that was playing because it was bad. so.. i think we've gotten to the point where we understand how short a second is. 'rent' explained it really well.. but i didn't feel like being cliche. 

we've been taught that once we feel a certain way, we're stuck. and we feel that way because we have to. and that's all there is to it. but that just isn't true. feelings are feelings. they happen. and sometimes they stick around for years and years, and sometimes they're gone in a second. but here's something that is also often missed when we learn about feelings. they're never wrong.

never.

do you know why? because they came from you. something happened to YOU [not someone else] and YOU took it in a way that no one else in the whole world will.. and then your brain and your heart and your gut and your toes and your elbows and head and eyes and spleen took all that and FELT. it's the way YOU feel. not the way bob, or mandy, or sue, or glenn close, or obama, or ellen, or rocky, or even your twin sister feel. completely original.. never to be reproduced again. it's kind of amazing if you think about it. 

amazing. but never wrong.

so if you're in love with someone who you have always felt was perfect and you always saw yourself with that person for the rest of your life.. and then something happens and you don't FEEL that way anymore. then you don't. and that's not wrong.

or if your whole life you hated pancakes. totally despised them, gagged when they were brought around.. and then you don't FEEL that way the next time you pass IHOP. then get it. because you're not wrong for having a change of heart. have your IHOP and enjoy it too. [yes.. this blog is sponsored by the International House of Pancakes.]

if you don't want to buy those shoes that your friends have because you don't FEEL them.. then don't. you're not wrong for feeling that way.

promise me you'll think about this. i'm sorry it's not funny or witty or anything. but it's something i FEEL this is something people need to hear.

-cai rad.

reader(s)!! long time no talk!

ugh i'm sorry. i've failed you. how terrible of me. i said i would give you at least one post every friday and it's been weeeeeks since you've heard from me. boo on me. 

but believe me. there is a reason why i've been so distant. first i had the second most important audition thus far in my life. actually.. i'm sure that's not true.. but it was pretty darn important. then i figured out one of life's greatest secrets. then i had spring break.. which was a hoot and a holler to say the least. and then i was back in school. which i guess isn't a great excuse.. but whatever. i read a book. i watched some movies. almost had an emotional break down.. and i'm back now.. and in the long run.. that's all that matters :]

i wonder if you picked up on the fact that i discovered the answer to one of life's greatest secrets? well i did. am i going to share it with you........?

duh. of course. i wouldn't have mentioned it if i wasn't going to dish.

okay.. are you ready for this?? here it is. STOP THINKING. i've noticed that everyone over thinks things. if you want to say something.. say it. if you want to do something.. do it. if you feel a certain way.. well then you better jolly well be feelin it! it sounds really simple, but it isn't. think about how much happier you'd be if you didn't censor yourself every single day. 

just imagine a world without inhibitions that come from the day to day of over-thinking and biting your tongue. we'd be so much freer. it'd be like the 70's all over again.. minus all the acid. a very wise man once said 'i have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting'.. and while that has nothing to do with anything i've said in this entry.. i didn't censor myself from saying it.

see how that works? it's awesome. now, i'm a big believer in personal freedom. love and be loved, live yo life, go with your own flow.. all that. i know that most people don't think like that AT ALL.. and that could lead them [or possibly you?! are you one of those people?!?!?!] to think that the only reason i think this 'stop thinking' mantra has any weight is because i'm a crazy hippy. but that's just not the case. [actually.. that could very well be the case.. how am i supposed to know? i'm just a crazy hippy.]

let's test it out, shall we? try going a day or two.. or if that's too much.. 45 minutes.. without thinking so much. just let what you truly want to happen.. happen. and if you find it actually a load of crap.. let me know. or let someone know. and if it works.. keep doing it. i want to start a revolution. and with ALLLLLLLL the readers i have on this bloggy blog.. i think i can. hahaha.

STOP THINKING. 

-cai rad.

200,000 in counterfeit 50 dolla billz.

readers. hey.

you know what i noticed? there are two kinds of people in this world. there's the kind that are ALWAYS sick. like.. at least once a month you see them and they have huge bags under their eyes, that mopey walk, that apathetic outlook on the universe.. you know who i'm talking about. they're your friends.. but you want to say away from them. they may be sick all the time, but it never seems to last for long. it's like their immune systems are sleeping, then they get sick.. get thrown into overdrive.. and then by the end of the sickness, they're tired and go to sleep until the body gets sick again. it's a terrible cycle.

then, on the other side of the fence, are the people who are NEVER sick. they can go months, even years without showing a single symptom for anything. they have some magic gene that will keep them from all aliments. but when these people get sick.. they take it hard. they're out of comission for weeks, and even when they do get 'better'.. a part of them was lost in battle.

and with this.. i realized something. there is no intermediate anymore. it's either 'all or nothing', 'this or that', 'me or him'.. you get the drift. the world has taken out all the wiggle room from all decisions. there's no room to just.. learn and grow.

politics. red or blue. sure.. there is the option of green.. and there is supposed to be some sort of 'yellow' or moderate party.. but not really. when it comes down to the line.. you are red or you are blue. what if i'm a gun slingin', home bred, tobacco spittin' gal who just happens to be pro-choice? what if i'm a tree hugging, peace loving vegan who thinks darwin was a hack and is a big believer in intelligent design? who do i vote for then? there is no in-between. 

throwing up. there are no people who throw up 'every once in a while'. no. you either throw up all the time, or never.

diets. there are those people who are always on one form of a diet or another. atkins, nutrasysem, you name it.. they've done it. and then there are people who have never been on a diet.. and never will be on one. you're never 'sometimes' on a diet.

open or closed. black or white. in or out. wet or dry. cat or dog. star wars or startrek. you name it.. i've thought about it today.

there is no intermediate. there is no in-between. so let's stop pretending there is such a thing. i know.. it's a terrible loss. but let's get over it and go to free pancake day together tomorrow.

bye! sorry this was boring. 

 

i'm about to lose control and i think i like it

reader(s)!! you made it!!

happy friday. i always loved fridays. i mean.. every day is awesome, and we should treat every day of the week equally.. that's a big 'should'. you can't possibly love all of the days of the week the same. and i don't. whoops.

and it's not for the same reasons that everyone else likes fridays. or most people. [i don't know why everyone likes fridays. i'm not god.] i don't see fridays as just a reason to go out and party , or the end of classes for the week. no. i see fridays as a little triumph. a 'win' for you in a world of 'loss'. think about it. every friday is another week you didn't lose to the cruel, cruel game of life. every day, people die. people are hit by busses or choke on their pudding pops. their wives drug them, or they use the sex swing the wrong way. and you didn't. you made it through the week without something [too] horrible happening to you. think about it. you can go out and say 'SUCK ON THAT, WORLD!' and not even feel bad. because you won this time. 

that's not to say you will win every week. come on people, only some of us can live forever. but i'm not here to preach fear. i say, continue to live, love, and do what you do. there's no way to beat the system. but this week you won. congratulations. my hope is, that i continue to do so well in the game, and one week.. even beat you.

i think that's all i've got for today. lucky for you, i kept this entry extremely positive. i'm nice that way. so until next time, enjoy yourselves.

PEACE OUT!

-cai rad.

i've got a fever.. and the only prescription is more cow bell

well hello there bloggers! 

blogging is something  i've always wanted to do. seriously.. ever since i knew what blogging was, i've wanted one. i've had livejournals [several] but i feel like that's just a lame attempt. i wanted a real blog. and now i have one. look how cool i am. 

hmm.. i guess this is harder than it looks. what to write about? i can't write about too much.. because that'll just confuse my reader(s).. but if i don't write enough.. no one will come back. hmm. what to do, what to do. it's easier once there's an established blog. there are no awkward salutations, you can just jump into your topics. aahh screw it. i'm doing the same thing. it's my freakin blog. 

topic of the day: stupid people.

i can't stand them. point blank.

i mean.. i know that i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed [example? i just spelled shed 'shead'.], but some people just DO. NOT. GET. IT. 

i've found facebook is great breeding grounds for stupid people. it's a great place to 'connect' or 'poke' or what have you.. but it also gives people a lot of room to be stupid. maybe it's the fact that they don't hear what they're saying when they type it or that the person they can't see the person they are typing to so it doesn't matter.. but i see a lot of dumb things on my mini feed. people comment on ended relationships saying 'oh no! what happened?!' like they really want to talk about through comments on their little pink broken heart? no. 

or how about when someone stalks your friends on facebook.. and then goes ahead and tries to forge relationships with said friend. yes, i've made friends with friends friends.. and various famous people.. but i know how to deal with people. there are some folks out there who have NO common sense. like, i've seen wall posts up the wazoo that just make me cringe. people [trying to] talk up storms with someone they don't.. talking about nothing.. and the poor friend of a friend is so obviously uncomfortable but can't ignore them and be rude! 'never! this is a friend of my friend!'

and that's just facebook! this is not to mention all the people out in the real world! i hear some of the dumbest questions fly out of people's mouthes. i see some of the dumbest things go down. it's like there are people who are born without a filter to clean out all the stupid ideas. there are people like me who only let a few bad ideas out. and then there are the other people. woah. just thinking about it makes me angry. like.. grow a little sense! 

alright. i don't know if there is anymore i can add to this angry little rant. i'll let you know now [because this is the first entry] that the best part of all of this is the links. click on them. enjoy them, in and out of context.

oh! i bet you were wondering about the title of this entry? what do you think it had to do with this entry? .............. take your time.............. ready for the answer? well if you thought 'it had nothing to do with anything.' you're wrong. it ties all of this together with a nice little bow. 

bow.

THANKS FOR READING! i'll be back with more mindless nonsense. most likley on friday. that's gonna be my thing. a new blog [at least] every friday. but if something pops into my head.. know that i'll be back here.

adeu for now. 

-cai rad.